I..
took a wrong turn on my path,
on Life’s journey.
Got given the test early and failed the tasks badly,
at the first hurdle, the week i turned 19.
Mum always said
‘life’s too short‘
I’d often wonder what that means till...
Seeing her lying there,
flesh unaware,
came deep despair in my heart
that my mind couldn’t bear.
I..
heard the last straw hit the
camels back,
I snapped.
and in there moment,
i buried her body with my
dreams.
II
It seems i died that day,
eyes glazed over.
Holding my composure, by showing the cold shoulder
‘Nobody ought know how bad it is broken soldier’
‘you’re not even close to accepting, let alone finding closure’..
So close to the edge, you’re on the verge of falling over,
Folded over by the burden of your woe,
Overloaded to the point you’re choking slow,
Like a smoky gas chamber’s seizing your throat’
‘Gripping the tail of a cold scream, you know you can never let go of but…
III
(Breathe….) that was a close one!
i close my eyes,
take a deep breath, take back control-
before i hit the road again
‘A pen on a pad will ease the moments…’
‘..but i know they’ll never last’.
‘Time heals…‘
‘…Only as much as it covers wounds with a scab‘
The fact is, it never passes ‘cos we’re made up of the past,
So sometimes in the present, the future’s kinda hard to grasp.
‘How can anything really matter, if Matter’s never built to last?’
Maybe all that really matters, lies beyond my human caste..
So onto the lonely path i walked, I caught the scent of Angels,
Stretched my hands across the furthest reaches
trying to feel something that lasts,
.. long enough to mean more than just a fleeting stolen moment,
overblown like make-up, made up like a face wearing a mask’…
III
What i amassed is that the dice of Fate have already been cast.
‘we are the cast of a worldly stage,
‘LIFE and DEATH’,
the changing acts.
The title’s interchangeable , depends on who you ask,
but the quest remains the same,
you exit once you’ve played your part.
IV
once you’ve made your mark.
Hit the ground hard enough
to leave a scar,
Sacrifice above your average,
act of selflessness beyond the
flesh,
you have to bleed
your soul to feed the heart,
So now you earned the stars
Take your place amongst the
stars..
And those left in your wake
Are awaken to face the fact
you’ve gone away.
And all that’s left for them are
memories of a.. ‘
‘Once upon a time‘
‘Once so full of life’
Now forever tainted a hue of gray!
(But they say..)
‘What doesn’t kill you makes
you stronger.‘
So I pieced my pain together
and built myself a suit of
armour ,
Wear my angst upon my chest
Like A crested badge of honor
A breast plate laced with woe
to reflect a heart now
hardened.
Churned the pending scream
into a sickened twisted grin
cast upon the mask I wear
To bear this chaos world I’m
living in..
The smile deceives,
the lies Speak
through the rage the eyes leak,
a sign the mind’s tarnished,
But the souls long departed..✌
Knomad24 